It is important that children understand that emotions are a normal part of life and that they are able to recognise, common emotions.
In addition, it is vital that they enrich their emotional vocabulary and to begin to think about the implications of emotions and comfort zones on their lives.
By supporting children to understand the concept of the comfort zone, adults can help children to learn how to develop basic strategies to manage and eventually expand their comfort zones.
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Below are some techniques to develop these core skills.
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Develop Emotional Vocabulary
Encouraging children to improve their emotional vocabulary is an important way to help them become more confident in expressing and understanding their emotions. Helping children learn a wide range of adjectives and encouraging them to practice and reflect on their use can support children in improving their emotional vocabulary.
The benefits of this include children feeling more confident when expressing emotions and being able to recognize and discuss emotions with others. When introducing new vocabulary, focus not only on the meaning of the new words but also on their use. Learning the subtle differences in the use of synonyms can be a great way for children and adults to fully understand the meanings of these words.
Starting an education in emotional vocabulary from a young age can ensure that by the time children become adults, they are skilled at communicating their feelings through both their words and actions.
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Comfort Zone Reflection
This is a simple exercise to practice with children to understand the comfort zone phenomenon.
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To begin, create a list of 10-20 random activities. Divide the list and place one activity on each piece of paper. Read each activity with the child and ask them if they are comfortable doing the activity. Then, separate the activities into two piles: those the child is comfortable with and those they are uncomfortable with.
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Help the child understand that the more activities placed in the "comfortable" pile, the larger their comfort zone. This can be done visually by spreading the activities out on a table or floor and drawing a circle around them.
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Next, have a discussion about what is outside of the comfort zone. Ask the child what it means for an activity to be in a different pile, and consider what changes (if any) would need to be made to those activities or to the child in order to move them to the "comfortable" pile.
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This exercise can be a great way to brainstorm with children about new skills or extra-curricular activities they would like to learn, and how they may need to develop in order to feel comfortable undertaking these activities. It is also an excellent visual way to track their development, as they can see their circle grow as they introduce more skills into their comfort zones.
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Emotion based reflective questioning
Reflective questioning based on emotions rather than actions can challenge children and young adults to reflect on their emotional experiences and behaviors.
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Usually, when we think about reflection, we tend to focus on events and prioritize actions. For example: "How was school today?" "What did you do today?" "What did you learn today?"
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Including emotionally reflective questioning can develop reflection, empathy, and emotional recognition skills. Some examples of emotionally reflective questions might include: "How did you feel today?" "Did anything make you happy/sad today?" "What was it?" "Why did it make you feel happy?"
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As discussed in the Motivations and Goals section, reflection is an integral skill of awareness and self-development. Emotional reflection/questioning can be difficult, so it's important to challenge ourselves and our children to ask and answer these difficult questions.