To support children in improving their skills of introspection and reflection, a progressive and challenging approach to questioning can be used. Below is an example of how to conduct this questioning:

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Reflecting on their actions - This is the first stage and often the easiest for a child to understand. Here, you help a child reflect on the things they have done by asking the simple question "Why did you do that?" It is often done intuitively by adults, but in many cases, it is done with an accusatory tone or said without the real desire for an appropriate answer. This question should be used not only to explain negative behavior but also positive behavior. The focus should be on improving the child's process of reflection, which is more important than the explanation of an action.

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Reflecting on their thoughts - This is the next stage and is more challenging than reflecting on actions. Questioning becomes a two-step process. The first step is acknowledging the feelings and thoughts a child may be experiencing. You can ask questions such as "How do you feel?" or "What do you think about that?" The next step is to ask why the child feels this way.

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Reflecting on the actions of others - Reflecting on the actions of others is even difficult for most adults. For a child, learning from others is a huge part of how they learn about the world. A greater understanding of others' actions can help them develop a greater understanding of their environment. You can ask "Why did he/she/they do this/that?"

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Group reflection with a child - In a group reflection with a child, a child is given the opportunity to practice all of the previous modes of reflection with the guidance and active input of an adult. By sharing their reflections, the adult can support the child to grow and develop their reflective and introspective practice.

"Encourage your child or student to become an independent thinker by helping them understand why they do routine activities.

A child's world is often dominated by their parents and other authority figures, and many of their daily activities are completed because they are told to do them by an authority figure.

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To encourage independent thinking, help children move past the explanation of their actions with the answer "because I have to" or "because I've been told to do it." As early as possible, try to support them in finding simple explanations for why they undertake these routine activities.

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For example, for a 7-year-old, you might explain why it's important to brush their teeth: "We brush our teeth in the morning and at night to keep our mouths clean. If our mouth gets dirty, we may get sick. If we don't want to get sick, we should brush our teeth regularly."

Keep these explanations simple for young children, but as they get older (around 11 years old), you can make them more complex as the child is more likely to understand.

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It can be challenging for parents and guardians, but trying your best to move away from authoritarian explanations like "because I said so" or threats like "because if you don't" can help a child greatly develop their independent thinking."

Planning goals together with children is a great way to teach them the principles of goal setting in a safe environment. Some examples of joint goals are: a crafts project, an educational project, or an activity-based goal.

 

The important steps in the goal setting process to focus on with a child are: planning, review, evaluation, and future actions. Using appropriate tools such as SMART goals can help design and plan effective goals. Teaching children to regularly review and implement changes, if necessary, can help them achieve their goals.

 

Evaluating the success or failure of the goal and identifying the reasons behind it can help children learn from their experiences. Teaching children to consider the consequences of their actions on their future goals and life can help them make more informed decisions.